I was reading Parent Hacks the other day, and discovered that some parents picked Halloween trick-or-treating time to teach the lesson of saying “thank you” after they’ve received a treat.
I’ve thought about this one for a bit. I’m against it.
I feel that there are certain times when it’s ok for your kid not to be perfect. Halloween is one of them.
Consider what is inside their head. What are they preoccupied with? What are they thinking about when they are trick-or-treating?
I think “please” and “thank you” are requisite, no question. But the time to teach said terms and their usage is not during their third favorite moment of the year.
If you have read this far and are still of the mind that trick-or-treating is a good time for the “please” and “thank you” lesson, consider doing it a week ahead of time, practicing with everything they interact with, like “Please may I have the potatoes” or “Thank you for making my lunch” or “May I please watch tv before I finish my homework” or whatever.
…just a thought…
by Stu Mark
[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, Halloween, lessons, politeness, behavior modification, appropriateness, timing[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by are you my rik?, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
2 responses so far ↓
Amberlynn // Nov 12, 2007 at 12:02 pm
I learned how to say please and thank you all over again after I got married. My husband is a stickler for politeness in all aspects of his life.
I realized that when I was growing up, the kids were expected to say please and thank you - but the parents never were. What they said went. But now, in our house, even though our son is only 20 months old, we ALL use please and thank you. We’ll wait through a cranky fit until our son is ready to ask nice, and he’ll do the same with other kids. When they ask nicely, he’ll hand the toy right over… but if they grab or fuss, he’ll stubbornly hold on to the toy and wait.
My point is that learning please and thank you will probably be most successful if learned by example, as well as remain a constant habit - not just a sudden thing you do when you get a gift from someone.
Stu Mark // Nov 12, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I too am a stickler for “please” and “thank you.” I’m not perfect at it, but I challenge anyone to catch me asking my kids to do anything without me using “please” in the request. And, imho, it makes all the difference. “Please” and “Thank You” convey respect, which breeds a sense of community and caring.
In my opinion, from the moment that you become a parent, you’re obligated to strive for perfection, at least in front of the kids. Not “Stepford” perfect, but being the best you you can be. When they’re asleep, or off to college, anything’s fair game. But when they’re around, we parents ought be on our best behavior, for that is the path to peace.
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