Giving New Meaning to Parenting

Dearest Child of Mine:

I know how upset you were earlier today, when I refused to buy you that video game.  I know you really didn’t believe me when I told you that it was because I love you, that sometimes I refuse you the very THINGS that you so strongly WANT.

As a Mom Person, I have a few things to tell you. They may or may not make you feel any better, but they might help you understand where your parents are coming from.

First and foremost, check the calendar, kiddo. At our house, from October 1st through January 1st is a “no buy zone”, meaning no matter what they release, or how full of gaming goodness it is, all bets are off until after the Holidays. Besides, you just never know what Ol’ Saint Nick will leave in your stocking! Maybe your ‘rents are actually planning on gifting you – so be careful not to ruin the big surprise!

You already know this, but apparently a refresher is in order:  Rule #1 at our house is If you want to be treated like an adult, you must first ACT like an adult. For more than 15 minutes, by the way.  Parents have a loooooong memory, and time moves at a different speed for us.  After all, it was “just yesterday” when you were a tot in diapers, and only a few minutes ago when you were eating paste in kindergarden.  You need to prove yourself for more than just a day or two.  Then, sit down and talk with your Parental Units.  And, talk about more than just that video game you can’t live without.  Talk about school.  About your friends.  Ask them how *their* week was at work.  Find out what they did when they were *your* age.  Have an actual conversation.  Let them see that you are trying.  You might be surprised at what happens…

Next, we need to talk about the difference between a “need” and a “want”.   Need is what you have to have to survive – literally.  As in, you NEED clothes, water, food, and shelter.  After that, everything else falls into the WANT category.  No, really.  You don’t NEED an iPod to survive in the world – although we can certainly understand that it makes that bus ride to and from school more pleasant.  You don’t NEED more than one or two pairs of shoes, but we know that sometimes you might want to wear something different.  Do you see the difference?  After those survival basics, EVERYTHING ELSE IS A WANT, to varying degrees of importance.  You are old enough now to understand this concept – and we expect you to remember it.  It will become very important in your adulthood.  And yes, there will be a test on this.  More than one, and given the current economy, maybe even daily.

Finally (and most importantly) no matter what happens, you are still a lucky kid. Why? Because your parents love you. Trust me when I tell you that if your parents didn’t care about you, we  would let you run amok, and pick your nose in public, and stay up till all hours on a school night, and spend your money on crazy stuff like video games. It’s tough to be The Mommy and/or The Daddy. Believe it or not – we genuinely wish we could give you kids everything that you want, but sometimes we have to say “no” for your own good.  And parents aren’t perfect (but, really, who is?) and so sometimes we mess this stuff up.  We think that we are doing what’s best for our kid, when really it’s just annoying everyone.  You have to remember that you didn’t come with an owner’s manual, and a handy-dandy 800# for customer service.  So, sometimes we are just guessing at what might be best for you.  But even if we are driving you nutso-crazy, it’s only because we love you.  If we didn’t care about you, this whole conversation would have never happened.

Bonus tip: Always have *all* of your homework done before asking. Kind of takes away that whole “responsibility” issue.

Bonus tip #2: I know that some of your friends – whose parents aren’t as active in their lives – have given you some questionable advice like “just buy it and install it anyway; they’ll never know”, but I hope you don’t.  Because If you do, and we find out, it will put a serious dent in our trust of you. You don’t want to spend the next three or four years trying to rebuild our faith and trust in you over one silly video game.

Good things come to those who wait.

Merry Christmas!

Mom

by Thimbelle