Grasshopper New Media Presents...

Here’s how to take two recently adopted preschoolers on vacation.

Step one: Before you travel anywhere for the first time, buy matching rolling duffels for the whole family. Let the children choose their own colors, so they see that, even though they’re part of a “matched set” of people, they are still permitted free choice. Rescue your daughter when she zips herself inside her own bag.

Step two: As parents, pack your own things first. Show the little ones your filled bags so they know you’re going with them. Leave enough time for an extra load of laundry after they gleefully run around the house with your underwear and toss it in the trash.

Step three: Help your children pack. Count with them how many of each item of clothing they will need. Refrain from bursting into tears when your son chooses so meticulously that you realize he thinks he’s never coming back. Tell him in Russian and English that all his things will be waiting for him when he returns. Recognize that he doesn’t believe you.

Step four: Pack extras of everything into your children’s bags. In your own bags, pack things that you, as adults, never dreamed of bringing on a trip: Toy cars. Washable crayons. Portable DVD player with plenty of Elmo. Pull-ups. Sippy cups. Stuffed animals, blankets, place mats, rainbow night-lights, water noodles, pediatric first aid kit. Consider taking two cars.

Step five: Enlist everyone’s help in packing the cars. Depart only an hour late, after only one melt-down (yours).

Step six: Lull the children to sleep with a Miles Davis CD. Upon arrival, carry them, wide awake, upstairs to bed, where they remain awake later than you. Unpack.

Step seven: Throughout the vacation, inquire occasionally of your son why he seems so angry—why he’s so loud, disobedient, and destructive. Let him explain that traveling with you reminds him that he was adopted, and seeing his cousins reminds him that he misses his foster brothers.

Step eight: Comfort your daughter nightly for missing your house and not believing she’ll return. Count down the remaining number of nights on your fingers. Pretend not to be surprised when she demands another vacation next year.

Step nine: Pack up and return home—in daylight, so the kids can witness the return. Let them ride their tricycles in the driveway while you unload. Misplace the pediatric first aid kit in time for the first skinned elbow.

Step ten: Comfort your children when they cry for missing the vacation spot and their cousins. 

by Deborah L. Blicher

Photo graciously provided by ksfc84, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.