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Did you know that parenting books are a multi-million dollar a year enterprise? New parents, seasoned parents or hopeful parents, we’re flocking to parenting books like flies to … you get the idea.

I’ve got a few books on my shelf titled “How To Parent Your …” or “Six Easy Steps To …”. All books promising to make me a better parent or have better children, because clearly, my children need help.

Now, I’m not saying that such books don’t have a place. “The No Cry Sleep Solution” and “Bestfeeding” are sort of bibles to someone like me, having had a few kids who didn’t sleep or who had latch problems. What I am saying is that it’s too bad we’re not relying on what we already know or what works for us. So often I hear what we think we’re doing wrong as parents, but when do we sit back and shout what we do right?

I think that the best aspects of my parenting are those that might not be easily defined in a book. Little tricks I’ve taught myself in the eleven years since I became a parent. Things that might not work for some, but make for a much smoother household ’round these parts.

Things like;

-Making myself a priority. Not the priority, but one of them. This means doing whatever it takes to make sure that I feel validated and happy. I am not going to sit around and wait for someone to tell me I need a break, I’m going to make it happen. I will run or workout. I will go to lunch. I will flake out on the couch with a beer while my husband is at hockey.

-Picking my battles. For three weeks while our daughter Erin was in Kindergarten she wore the same denim jumper with a pair of red cowboy boots every day. I laughed about it and really didn’t care. She was going to school. She was happy. When another Mom asked me what the deal was, mentioning she would never allow her daughter to behave that way, I simply let her know that she was welcome to come to my house and try to argue with her.

-Sometimes, you just have to say no. There are times, even if there isn’t necessarily a major or pressing reason, where you just have to say no to your child. I’m a stickler for family time and just because they have nothing else to do doesn’t mean we have to have the whole neighbourhood over for a party. Yes shouldn’t be said just to make them feel better or to fill voids.

-On the other hand, sometimes you have to say yes. There are days when I’ll say “Sure, have a brownie for breakfast!”. Granted, these days are usually their birthdays or the day after Halloween, but fun is fun, right?

-Be silly or crazy. I try to keep it light most of the time. I tease them or wink at them or make a silly face when I see them in their classes.

-Recognizing that my husband is there too. He’s not just the breadwinner or sperm donor or the guy who unclogs the toilet. He’s not just my partner is raising our kids, he’s my partner in life. We make dirty or sarcastic jokes. We gossip. We fight. Sometimes I call him throughout the day just to see how he is or to let him know that I’m really tired from him snoring all night.

So, tell me … what little parenting tricks of the trade do you have to share?

by Chantal Hubert

[tags]parenting, parents, kids, children, books, learning, developing, concepts, ideas[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Johnny Huh, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved