Giving New Meaning to Parenting

Now that the summer is over and the kids are back in school, I thought I’d take this time to reflect on our latest experience with Summer Camp. The daycare located on site where I work offers summer camp for children entering kindergarten through those entering fifth grade. My son is a veteran now, since this was his third time in the summer camp program. This year was my daughter’s (who just started kindergarten) first time. Up until this summer, she was technically still in the preschool that is offered for the younger kids.

For my daughter, everything new about the way things were done in summer camp caused her to be nervous. She adapted to riding the bus on field trips after I chaperoned a couple of the first ones and she decided that riding the bus wasn’t such a big deal after all. She adapted to field trips in general, even ones I couldn’t go on, both because her big brother was always with her and because she had a great time. She got to know new kids in her class and adapted to making new friends.

The two things she didn’t come around to liking were swimming lessons and what the summer camp called “sports day”, or something very close to a physical education intro to organized sports sort of class. She very strongly disliked both of them with all of the emotion that her little body could generate.

Both my son and daughter disliked sports day enough that getting us out of the house on Wednesday mornings (the day that was sports day) was more than a chore. They’d think of every way possible to delay leaving the house so that we’d arrive late enough that they didn’t have time enough to participate. From waking up crying or just crabby in general, to dragging their feet getting dressed or eating breakfast, we never left on time. After a while, I just decided to stop trying to make them go, and scheduled shopping trips or doctor’s appointments for Wednesday mornings rather than spend all my time nagging them to go. They run around all day, and neither of them are in any way out of shape. I figured it was alright to negotiate this one away.

The last one, swim class, was tougher. I want both my kids to learn how to swim for their own safety. I never formally learned myself, and can sort of get by enough to splash my way through a swimming emergency if need be. For my daughter, she was literally terrified about going. She’d cry in my arms when I dropped her off at school, something she hasn’t done since she was three. She would wake up on swim lesson days sobbing so hard I could barely understand what she was saying and I often thought she was going to make herself sick.

I tried to ask her what was making her so scared of swim lessons. She couldn’t really tell me other than she just really didn’t want to go. I tried explaining that the swim instructors would be there, and her teachers would be there, and that nothing bad was going to happen. Nothing seemed to help her. She would go to the class, but she’d opt to sit next to her teachers on the bench, while her classmates would go in the water and splash around. At this age, none of them are really swimmers, and lessons mostly consist of getting their face wet and floating. Eventually, I let her stay behind at the summer camp and hang out with her brother on swim lesson days (they sent girls as a group on one day and boys as a group on another), rather than go with her class to the pool.

I know that others would probably have pushed her to conquer her fears, or somehow made her just suck it up and go, but that wasn’t what my gut was telling me. She was so out of sorts and so communicative about how distressing she found the lessons, that I felt it was alright to let her skip this year. There will be swimming lessons again next year. She will have another chance at trying. I felt it was better to listen to her feelings and find a way to work with them and validate them, rather than just forcing her to do something that’s “good for her.”

For me, listening to my children and helping them to conquer there fears at their own rate has always been more important to me than forcing them to get there on my terms and in my timetable. They’ve managed to accomplish things they first were afraid to, and they have done it when they felt safe enough and ready to do them. Perhaps it’s going to take longer this way, but in the end, I hope that I’ve helped them to feel confident that they can step back and take a breather from life when they need to every now and then, as long as they give it another try when they are ready.

A friend of mine recently found her seven-year-old son watching porn on his new PSP. Understandably, she was devastated. Her son was confused. It’s a toy, after all, and surely if mummy and daddy give you a cool toy you want to press all the buttons and totally expect only fun things to happen as a result.

My friend had no idea that the PSP came with internet, as do many new DS consoles and most new mobile phones. Being not very tech-savvy, she just thought it was a game, and provided kid-friendly game cards for her son’s entertainment. Her son accessed the internet, looked up ‘games’, and one thing led very quickly to another.

Porn is bad for kids, obviously, as much discussed in my earlier post here on the matter. And just a few clicks of your mouse can get you to a porn site, even if you weren’t looking for it! The innocent and carefully monitored YouTube can have porn hidden in music videos, directed at kids, and many gaming sites have virtual sex ‘games’ marketed in their sidebars. It all looks very cool until you get there.

We have to be so careful with technology. The PSP has security settings with password protection, as does the DSi, so you can make their internet settings somewhat safer. You may even want to disable the internet entirely, and the games consoles will still be great for playing games cards, taking photos, etc. If your child does have any access to the internet via their games console, it’s best to keep a close eye on them. Let them play when you’re nearby, and just peep over their shoulder from time to time.

If you’re not sure how to access the parental controls, security or internet settings on your child’s games console, please ask a tech-savvy friend or family member to do it for you, or take it into the shop where they will help you out. Set the internet filter to ‘medium’ or ‘high’, and set a password so that your child cannot change it.

And watch what they are doing online, at all times. They’re only kids, but they can sure get around the internet – not the safest neighbourhood there is!

by Nan Sheppard

The Mercenary has of late been acting as if everything I say annoys him. Well. To be completely truthful, I think that my breathing annoys him as well. In and out….in and out…it never stops. Poor kid. The inhumanity of his suffering staggers the mind, no?

Sunday afternoon, I asked him to practice his piano. He instantly went into pout mode. He hadn’t practiced this week, as he was supposed to, which is why I asked him to do it on a weekend. There are 15 songs left in the book he’s studying; as soon as he finishes this book, he can quit piano and make up his own mind about pursuing music. At the rate of one song per week – a completely achievable goal – he could be done with this requirement in his life by the end of December.

He would have been done with piano months ago had he applied some effort and just gotten through with the work. Instead, he’s wasted weeks and added all this time to it. I’ve always been clear that once the boys have reached a certain level of proficiency, they’d be more than welcome to quit or continue as they please. The only requirement their dad and I had for them with regard to piano was that they learn enough to be able to pick it back up should they choose later in life. I have never met anyone who quit piano and later thought that was the best plan.

It seems I’m in a power struggle with him over the piano practice. Then I’m in a power struggle with him over [insert basic chore here] and school and….. Ugh. I don’t want to be in a power struggle.

From my point of view, I’m framing things in a way that gives him choices but allows parental expectations. Rather than take action on his own to do what’s required and then get out, he does the equivalent of lay down on the floor and hold his breath. Only cooler. You know, because he’s 12. It still feels like I’m dealing with a two year old; he’s just not screaming or needing a diaper change.

What is it about the adolescent mind that frames everything as a win/lose proposition? I get that they need to pull away from me as they age. That is right and appropriate. I’m all for them taking more responsibility and having more choices. The fact that I ask someone to pull the sheets off his bed so I can wash them FOR him should not require an eye roll, sigh, and under-the-breath muttering. The very fact that words exit my mouth does not make them suspect.

Someone told me once that adolescence is an emotional repeat of the first ten years of a child’s life. The developmental curve happens all over again, meaning that a 12 year old has something in common with a 2 year old. I don’t know if that’s scientifically proven, but it does make sense. And it does help me (when I remember) to measure my words and frame things as clearly as possible.

None of that avoids the eye rolls, arguing, or sighs. But at least one of us is behaving like an adult.

I look forward to the day that he realizes we’re allies and not opponents.

by AmyL

Photo graciously provided by blegg, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

About four weeks ago I made an announcement to my daughters that there would be no  toys purchased until their birthday. I made this decision because every where we went they would beg for a “small” toy, just a small one, please! I felt bad always saying no so I found myself giving in, again and again.

Last year I started buying their birthday presents a couple of months in advance as a way to combat the pressure from my kids to continually buy them new things. Recently they convinced me to buy them a couple of stuffed animals when we went to the museum. I called them birthday presents and we immediately wrapped them when we got home. They have yet to ask to play with them since. It is likely they have forgotten about them altogether.

Then school started. The week before school I gave them a new necklace and we took them shopping to buy one back-to-school outfit. The whole idea of waiting until their birthday for new things seemed to fly out the window. Last week they saw a Barbie at the grocery store. Every day for five days my daughter Copy Cat would come into my bedroom first thing in the morning and ask me to go back to the store to buy the Barbie. I told her I would buy it if it was still at the grocery store on Sunday. It was.

True to my word, I purchased the Barbie and told my daughters they would need to share it. It was explained multiple times that the doll was a birthday present. Copy Cat agreed to wrap it when we got home, but Pack Rat pushed and pushed until I gave in and took the darn doll out of the packaging so she could play with it, “just for today?” she asked. As I was putting the wings on the doll I couldn’t help but call myself a pushover and became a little irritated with myself.

How do you manage begging for new things from your children? Do you give in like I do? Do you put limitations on the dollar amount or number of things that you buy within a specific period, say each month? I need some help on setting boundaries with my children and would like to hear what works for you.

by Kelly Damron

Photo graciously provided by Methos04, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Every culture has a tradition of oral storytelling. The 35,000-year-old paintings on the walls of the Lascaux Caves are our earliest recorded evidence of storytelling1, and Aesop, a 6th century BC greek slave, wrote tales which even today are used to teach moral behavior to children. Stories are a means to pass on information, values, and knowledge. They provide the structure and framework through which humans sort, understand, relate and file information.2 In short, through stories people learn about the world and themselves.

Throughout time, narrative has been the most natural and fundamental teaching method and it seems that any lesson begun with the phrase “once upon a time” rivets the attention and interest of students. Simply put, stories are how we learn. The progenitors of the world’s religions understood this, handing down our great myths and legends from generation to generation3. Much research is available today to validate the powerful effect storytelling has as a teaching tool and an instrument to enhance motivation, communication and interpersonal skills.

When writing his book Story Proof: The Science Behind The Startling Power of the Story, Kendall Haven reviewed over 350 research studies and, perhaps unsurprisingly, each study agrees that stories are an effective and efficient vehicle for teaching and motivating, and for the general communication of factual information, concepts and tacit information.4 Specifically, it has been shown that material not learned within the context of a story is less likely to be retained,5, 6 whereas stories “engage us. … and help us to understand by making the abstract concrete and accessible”7. The benefits of the storytelling approach to education have been found to apply in very diverse subject areas. These include teaching literacy8, 9 mathematics,10 science11 and history to children,12 and educating professionals in such field as business13, nursing14 and adult education of foreign languages15 to name just a few.

Massachusetts based historian and folklorist, Merrill Kohlhofer uses storytelling to teach history to elementary children, both in schools across New England and at historic sites including the House of Seven Gables and the Peabody Essex Museums. According to Kohlhofer,  “Stories can help make what might otherwise seem dry facts and boring, irrelevant events come alive for the listeners. Because the events and characters of stories help create an emotional connection with the listener, the ideas the story carries make a greater impact, and seem both more relevant and more easily remembered and understood.  Listening to stories, participating in them, helps develop children’s linguistic skills – well-crafted stories both entice and challenge the listener to love language and its communicative power and serve to model verbal art.”

“I began by asking my listeners [3rd-5th graders] how many liked history – the response     was pretty lukewarm. After the question and answer session with which I conclude these programs, I asked the same question – and the response was overwhelmingly enthusiastic. …stories appeal to the child’s verbal intelligence, not something that happens that often these days where we appear to be shifting to a more visual culture.

Stephanie Wilkins, a longtime third and fourth grade teacher at Odyssey Day School in Wakefield, MA, relies heavily on story telling in her classroom.  Stephanie describes the power of story as a teaching tool stating, “Sitting and listening doesn’t do it [educate].  If they are just presented with material, it goes in one ear and out the other.  Role  play and drama, with them making up their own skits and acting out the stories, helps the students learn to handle and utilize concepts.  When kids get up and play a part they are going to learn and be more likely to remember.”

Odyssey Day School builds its entire curriculum on the concept of overriding themes and stories.  For example, the school -wide theme last year was Milestones: The path from yesterday to tomorrow.  When Stephanie’s class was studying the ancient Greeks, instead of just talking or reading about them they became part of the story. Each child researched and played a role of one of the Greek gods or goddesses. The theme was worked into all aspects of the curriculum. In science, they studied astronomy. In math, they learned about the algorithm and how the Greeks used stars to tell time, while in Art they were making sculptures and dioramas of ancient Greek Columns.

Stephanie expounds on the fact that storytelling not only enhances academic knowledge, but “fosters interrelationships between the kids. When they don’t even realize it, they are learning to step out of their own comfort zones and recognize similarities and differences in others,  learning from their ideas. They learn to compliment, cooperate, communicate,  plan, organize and they learn to listen. The story is not just about me presenting the material, it is a spring board for discussion for asking questions for probing further.  It brings it [the teaching] full circle.”

Another place where storytelling is still growing strong and aiding the development of self-esteem, creativity, and team cooporation is at Guard Up Family Swordmanship in Burlington, MA.  Guard Up runs summer camps, after-school and weekend programing based on interactive story telling and role-playing with an emphasis on teaching the values of good sportsmanship, teamwork, compassion, honor and courage. Guard Up really brings the story to life through role-playing which is a means of merging the power of stories with the benefits of active learning17. Children of all ages are fully immersed in medieval fantasy stories designed to entertain and educate. The story lines change and adapt based on the behavior of and choices made by the kids. The broad story arcs are planned in advance by a team of counselors, and evolve daily. Campers, as a group, devise strategies, find solutions, and choose their course of action whether defending their city from an invasion of living puppets, or negotiating a peace agreement with a horde of scurvy pirates.

We interviewed four of the Guard Up counselors, Chris, Lauren, Hannah and Joseph, to find out what inspired them, how they utilize the stories as a tool to impart knowledge and some of the surprising paths the stories took based on the actions of the campers, or Heroes, as they are called. They recognize that storytelling is a co-creative process.  Although there is a general story arc the counselors know the importance of letting the plot flow in the direction that the kids take.  As Joseph explains, “We can’t plan the specific details because it depends on the decisions of the kids.  We change the plot based on what the characters are doing.”   Lauren agrees “You want to take it where they take it.  You don’t want to be so stuck to the plot.  You want them to figure it out and feel excited.”  Guard up gives the kids the opportunity to design their own reality or as Joseph putt “the kids get to live their dreams”.  They design their characters and have a chance to be who they want to be and try out new things.  Many of them choose positive attributes and get rewarded for playing them.  On the other hand, if a camper decides to, say, fight her own team mates, she learns consequences within the game which makes her not want to do it in the future.

The motto of Guard Up is “courage, honor and compassion. “ Chris, another Guard Up instructor describes how the heros are given many opportunities to choose to display these attributes, such as the option to help other people without getting anything for themselves.  Once, for example, when a village was attacked by monsters, the campers stayed by the side of a shopkeeper, protecting her and even giving her their own healing potions when she was injured. When recollecting this tale, Hannah reflects that “these are the real teaching moments”.

Whether participating in adventure at the summer camp, after-school programs,  or weekly classes and activities, the children are, as Lauren says, “learning without even knowing they are doing it”.  Some knowledge is applicable in the academic sense, for example they learned basic anatomy during a quest to  reassemble the body of their village’s mayor – including his nervous system – or utilized mathematics and deductive logic to answer riddles, figure out clues and solve puzzles.  Additionally, history is incorporated both through mythology and true historical figures and settings.

Beyond gaining academic knowledge, they are also learning about themselves, social interaction, values and morals. Getting to be the hero they always wanted to be helps them gain confidence.  The emphasis on honor, courage and compassion flows through all of the activities.  For instance, when they were on the quest to “re-assemble the mayor” they needed to prove they were true of heart before they could retrieve the heart.  As Hannah so aptly put it, “We teach kids social skills by letting them explore outlandish possibilities.  They find the boundaries of their personality in a safe environment”.  They learn how to work together, negotiate, treat others with compassion, and attempt to solve issues through analytic skills instead of aggression.  It also gives them a chance to express their emotions, creativity and imagination.

When we first interviewed the campers, many stated that the characters they designed were more creative than they, themselves were.  When shown the paradox that they had designed their characters and that all of the character’s actions were coming from their own minds, one camper, Connor, stated enthusiastically, “If you come here I bet you’ll find out that you’re more creative than you think and that you have more talent than you notice.”

When asked, Connor and his fellow campers, Travis, Casey and Ethan offered many different lessons learned, including:

“Sometimes, you can have the best adventures where you don’t do war – do politeness first”
“Honor the game, be truthful, help others, and always try manners before violence. ”
“Teamwork and thinking about problem-solving can help in the real world.”
“The choices you make can really effect what goes on around you.”

Storytelling, besides being perhaps the oldest method of teaching, still plays a vital role in child development. When schools are becoming focused on teaching to standardized tests, it is more important than ever that children still have a way of learning through imagination and participation.  If parents are willing to look, there are still great opportunities for children to benefit from this timeless teaching method. Have you spun a story for your kids today?

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As parents, we all want what’s best for our kids in all aspects of their lives. We can use our parental guidance, creating a path for them to take, until they’re ready to take off running on their own.  That path begins in the home when we parents are their entire world, but how do you continue to cultivate that path once they begin school?

In my son’s preschool years, I didn’t have a choice as to what teacher he learned from, because there was only one to choose from.  However, that was the beginning of my work as a parent in helping my son, and sons down the road, to get the best teacher for their grade school career.

I sent my boys to two years of preschool, all for different personality reasons other than learning.  In those two years of preschool. I attended all the field trips and volunteered whenever possible.  Not only did I want to get to know the director, teachers, students, and parents, but I was also building relationships that would be useful in the future.

I would chat with the teachers and learn about their families, chat with other parents when we were waiting to pick up the kids when preschool was over, and interact with the kids on field trips/parties.  Once the second year of preschool began, I began chatting with the teachers and parents about the Kindergarten teachers.  The preschool director ended up being very helpful in more ways than one way.  I explained to her my interest in not only hoping my son get the right teacher, but I also wanted one that would be loving and understanding due to my son’s lazy eye therapy.  Since the director had kids already in school, she knew the best teacher for my son, and made a recommendation.  Thankfully, the school took her advice, and my parental guidance in cultivating a path continued.

Now my son is in 4th grade, and I must say I’ve been more than happy with the teachers he’s received.  After continuing to volunteer, and making myself seen in the school, I’ve been able to put a bug in the current-year teacher’s ear.  My request is simple, short, and sweet.  I show my sincere appreciation of their hard work throughout the year, and then, at the end, I ask them for their help in helping my son get the best teacher for his personality and skill level.  Like I said before, I’ve been more than happy with all the teachers he’s had, and I smile with pride knowing I may have played a little part in getting him there.

Now that I know the best teachers in each grade, the work I have to do with my second son is a little harder.  Due to my 2nd son struggling with anxiety, there are teachers I know he would do better with than others, so before the end of his preschool year, I was talking to the principal and the one particular Kindergarten teacher.  Even though they told me they can’t promise anything, they knew my concerns and my son’s needs.  I’m happy to report we got the Kindergarten teacher we wanted and our luck has continued on into  first grade as well.  Whoo Hoo!!

Steps to helping your child get the best Teacher:

• Be involved in your child’s schooling from the beginning.
• Volunteer and be seen in the school as much as possible.
• If you work full time, then volunteer at all the PTA functions and fundraisers.
• Create a relationship with your child’s current teacher without being a pest.
• Introduce yourself to the principal at the beginning of the Kindergarten year, and say “Hi” whenever you get the opportunity.
• Chat with the secretary in the office every-so-often on your way in or out of school.
• Take the time to visit with the PE, Library, and Art teachers at Parent Conference time.
• Keep your connections with past teachers.  You never know when you’re going to need their help.

So far all these steps are working for me in a small town that isn’t open to newbies.  If I can bust through the loyalty of a small town, then anyone can achieve this in any school district.

The bottom line though is what’s in the best interest of our kids and helping our kids get the best education possible.  I, as a parent, will do everything I can to make that a reality for them.  I wish you the best in your child’s grade school career.

If you have any other suggestions that I haven’t thought of, please share!

by City Chic On A Farm

Photo graciously provided by Sharat Ganapati, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Recently, I found myself stuck in a small Toyota Matrix with a four-year-old, and eleven-month-old, a cat, and my husband for more than thirteen hours.

This, as you may guess, was fairly close to one of the levels of hell described by Dante.  Factor in that we traversed the whole of Ohio on a diagonal and had to get through Kentucky (I have a particular hatred for Kentucky after the first 13 hour car ride), and you probably wouldn’t be surprised if I produced a revised version of The Inferno, specifically with parents in mind.

It was a long trip, made longer by the heat, which prohibited us from stopping anywhere with the cat.

I may never get into a car again.

Luckily, we were marginally saved by the wonder that is the portable DVD player.

It’s so unassuming in it’s little plastic box.  It doesn’t have any of the promise that the long-ago car kits my mother packed for us on vacations had.  There’s no license plate bingo.  No sharp new crayons, destined to melt themselves into the backseat upholstery.  It isn’t even particularly shiny.

It is, quite simply, crack for babies.  And heaven for parents.

Back BC (Before Children), I looked at those people who drove down the roads with their car aglow with the flicker of the portable DVD player as practically the equivalent of  the parents who only fed their kids chicken nuggets.

I swore that when we had children, we would neeeever eeeever use the TV as a babysitter, even in the car.

We would take those road trips as an opportunity to get to know our children.  To play car games and forge long-lasting memories.  We would not allow them to sit, in a semi-catonic state, and miss the wonders of the scenery around us.

(To be honest, this was also before I experienced the drive through Kentucky.)

Thousands of miles, and probably a hundred hours of car travel AC (After Children), I still don’t think it’s the best idea to turn on the Yo-Gaba-Gaba when you’re running to the supermarket, but I’m officially a convert.

….but then again, who am I to judge.  My oldest practically lives on chicken nuggets.

by Lisa D.

Photo graciously provided by t-dot-s-dot, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Lunch boxes! Oh I know, they can be a bore! It’s easy to just throw some junk in there, anything your child will eat without complaining. But during term time, lunch box meals take up quite a chunk of your child’s overall food intake, so it’s best if they have healthy ones. And with some planning and creative shopping, you can put a balanced couple of snacks together.

Every child is different. Some kids will sit down and eat everything in one go, others tend to graze. By the time he starts school, you will know your child’s eating style and can produce a yummy lunchbox to suit him perfectly. (Though naturally, if you’ve got more than one child, they will like completely different things in their lunchbox. This is one of the sad facts of a parent’s life.)

In my … let me see … over NINE YEARS of packing lunchboxes, oh my goodness! I have pretty much become an expert. I know that sandwiches made the night before can become dry and yucky, but salads made the night before are fine. I know that sliced tomatoes in a sandwich get all soggy. I’ve learned that in hot weather, a frozen juice pack keeps everything cool and defrosts at exactly the right time for lunch in a lunchbox. And, I can pack a good one, fast.

Here are my family’s fave packed lunches:

*Sandwiches are still the hands-down, most convenient, most liked lunchbox food. Crusts on, crusts off, whole wheat, wrapped in a tortilla, stuffed in a pita, and a million different ingredients make these my personal saviours in the morning rush. Be sure that your sandwich contains some kind of protein, such as cheese or meat, or peanut butter if your school allows. Protein will keep a child going through the long afternoon, while carbohydrates on their own will fuel a crash-and-burn. I often use deli meats, which are high in unhealthy ingredients, but my youngest son Max loves them and his diet is generally healthy otherwise so I’ve decided it’s okay. If I roast a whole chicken, Max loves chicken sandwiches with mayonnaise and he’ll eat that for three days straight. Roast beef, which I cook in the slow-cooker, is also really popular in a cold sandwich the next day.

*Dips! Max loves the tiny packets of cream cheese, which turn a boring and not-very-nutritious pack of multigrain crisps into a treat. Many kids who shun vegetables will happily eat carrot sticks and cucumber with dip. You can make a simple nut-free hummus, using a blender and a can of chick peas with olive oil and added seasoning: a very healthy vegetarian alternative.

*Soup is a wonderfully warming treat when the weather gets colder. In a thermos, soup will stay hot all day. Again, blending the ingredients up will make a popular creamy feast. Use orange vegetables and yellow split peas to make a bright orange blended soup that will convince your kids that veggies are fun!

*Fruit is so convenient, and many kids love it. An apple, orange or container of grapes (or cherry tomatoes!) will fit easily into a lunchbox and there’s one of your important five-a-day!

*A handy snack: some schools allow kids to run outside at playtime with a snack in their hand. If your child is a grazer, make sure he’s got something that he can grab and go with. Easily eaten fruits like bananas are great, and cheeses such as string cheese. Your child will be more interested in playing than eating at this point, so it’s got to be quick and easy.

*One of my older kids loves hard-boiled eggs. I packed them with shells intact and he would peel them and eat them with gusto, sprinkling a pinch of salt from a tiny container. Now that he is out of primary school and he buys his lunch, he still likes to put a few hot hard-boiled eggs into his pockets, to warm his hands on the way to school on wintry mornings! Then he can eat them before class.

*Many kids love salads: ranging from the leafy variety to a simple pasta or potato mayo with tuna and sweetcorn, these can be made the night before and popped in the next morning. Don’t forget a spoon!

*Juice and/or water is vitally important. Even in cold weather, kids can be dehydrated by the end of the day. There may be water fountains at school, but if there’s a line many kids will not bother to drink there.

Some kids like to have the same things every day… others prefer variety. If you have been packing the same popular lunch for a while and suddenly it’s coming home uneaten, try changing things a little. And, while you are packing a healthy snack for your kids, why not make one for yourself too? If you’re working, you can take it with you, and if you’re at home you’ll have a healthy, quick and easy lunch ready to munch. Your kids will be thrilled that their snack is good enough for you… and, you’ll be setting a good, healthy-eating example. Win-win!

I bet you’ve got ideas too! Share what works for you in the ‘Comments’ section… we’re always happy for snack inspiration here!

by Nan Sheppard

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Photo graciously provided by aJ GAZMEN ツ GucciBeaR, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

I realized recently that the boys were flat out using me quite often. In the heat of an argument, one child will show up and demand, “Mom!!! Will you tell him that (insert side of argument here)??” I am not fond of being in the middle of an argument in the first place, and being called on to constantly judge and settle issues isn’t fun. They’re old enough to start finding solutions themselves, thankyouverymuch.

It doesn’t seem to matter how many parenting books I read; I still seem to get stuck in these situations until my head hurts. Then a solution finally presents itself. (If only I was smart enough to figure this out faster, life would be more pleasant.) Anyway, the solution finally appeared in my head this morning and only an hour later I got the chance to try it out.

We were at church early, and the younger boys frequently get into turf wars with the older boys during setup. The youngers only have each other to play with, while the older boys have some friends to sit and chat with. The 7-year-olds think that the 12-year-olds are mighty cool and try to hang around. Being typical older brothers, the big guys don’t see the hero worship as desirable. They just see a pair of pests.

Sure enough, about ten minutes after we arrived the arguing began. Captain Earthquake (age 7) showed up with a demand: “Mom!! Will you tell the Mercenary to STOP KICKING ME??!!!!!!?!!”

I took them to a classroom and instructed each to sit. Then I explained as sweetly as possible that they are old enough to find their own solutions and they could get up and leave as soon as both were satisfied with whatever resolution they created. At first both fought back and forth by shoving at the table between them. Then The Mercenary (age 12) sat back and stated that he had nowhere to go, he could sit there all day. That lasted about 30 seconds after I reminded him that there were friends in the foyer to hang with.

The first solution tendered by the older boy was “How about he doesn’t bug us and we won’t bug him?”

“That’s a stupid idea!” shouted the Captain. “You say that I’m bugging you if I even walk by.”

(My boy is pretty smart).

There was plenty of discussion back and forth and eventually they agreed to live and let live. I had to sit nearby just to make sure no threats were carried out. The whole thing lasted about 5 minutes and everyone got along well for the rest of the morning.

This afternoon, the Captain had a different argument with his other older brother TechnoBoy. I implemented the strategy again and it took longer but they managed to work it out without committing any violence. Overall, the Captain had a hard time with it, but I think if we keep practicing they’ll start taking steps towards settling arguments without me.

A mom can hope, anyway.

by AmyL

Photo graciously provided by Duane Romanell, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Our family is experiencing the Summer of the Louse.

It started innocently enough with a family wedding Seven children, all playing and having a good time. Shortly thereafter, one came down with lice. They had managed to spread it to a few of the other cousins and adults, but we made it home lice-free, and felt lucky to have done so,

Fast forward to a month later, when we visit a branch of the same relatives in Florida. My sister in law has been spending weeks fighting lice and seems to get it whipped, only to find new eggs in her daughter’s hair a few days later. We were assured that her son was fine and there were no worries. But a few days into the trip and after spending considerable time, including sleepovers, we discovered that my nephew also had lice, and now both my kids did as well.

We had gotten through all of elementary school without any lice problems and felt lucky. I might have even felt smug about ducking the lice disaster earlier in the summer. But now, the louse had come home to roost.

My sister had tried all sorts of over the counter medicines and shampoos, but found that they were not totally effective. In fact, if you look online, you find that more and more lice seem to becoming resistant to first-line treatments. I immediately went online and looked at any cure I could get my hands on that may not have been tried to date on this particular family of lice. The one that seemed to be promising was one that involved using the facial cleanser, Cetaphil.

While you should go to the page directly for the exact method of treatment, it involves methodically and thoroughly coating a head in Cetaphil (about $7 for a bottle) and then combing out as much as possible. You then blow dry the child’s coated head to bone dry, and let this stay on there for over 8 hours. (We put a cap on the kids and sent them to bed.) In the morning, the kid washes out the cetaphil with shampoo, and you start stage two, which is using a nit comb and rubbing alcohol to comb out any lice and nits. You also have to wash any and all clothing and bedding used within two days of infestation in hot water and dry on high if possible.

The first thing you need to know is that lice and their eggs cannot survive high heat (greater than 130 degrees F for over 5-7 minutes), and rubbing alcohol will kill them and dry them right out as well. This is why washing in hot water is so important, as is boiling the combs and nit removal items after every use for at least ten minutes.

When we were doing the cetaphil treatment and combed out the excess, i saw we were getting adult lice/bugs out of the kid’s hair. This gave me some confidence that even if the smothering portion of the program wasn’t perfect, i knew we removed a bunch of the adults right away. Since the adults are the ones that lay the eggs and start the party, this is critical. (We also treated the adult people in the house, just to be on the safe side at the same time.)

I knew we were not only going to have to wash all the bedding we had, but all of our clothes as well. Those innocent cuddles with the kids had been possible points of infection, so time to do all the clothes. Yet i was worried, because even after one load of hot laundry, anyone taking a shower could tell there wasn’t much hot water left in the tank. How were we going to make sure all the clothes got the hottest water treatment we could get?

Since we were on vacation, we took all of our clothes, not knowing when cleans and dirties had been mixed, and took them to a local laundromat. Since the laundromat had unlimited hot water unlike my mother in law’s house, we could do all of the laundry at the same time (also a blessing- two hours and done!) and make sure the heat was high enough to kill anything we had in the clothes. Chore one done.

The second and more tedious chore was the two to three times a day combing of the children’s hair with a metal nit comb. We used something called the Terminator, and I recommend this or the LiceMeister, since they not only have metal prongs, but laser edges that help get the nits out. (Thanks to Amazon and one day delivery!) We would have the child sit on the floor and dip the comb in rubbing alcohol and then starting at the scalp, run the comb through the hair. This is painful for the kids, and does dry out their hair. It is not pleasant for anyone. I used a plastic disposable container, like the ziploc ones, that would fit the nit comb, and filled it with rubbing alcohol, dipping and rinsing the comb thoroughly between strokes on the head. Afterwards, i would take a lighted magnifying glass and examine the particles left in the alcohol to see what we had removed. While it can be difficult to sort out dandruff from lice eggs, you can pretty easily spot the critters and eggs from the rest once you have a feel for what they look like.

Every time we now comb the hair, we are getting less and less nits, eggs and have not seen an actual “bug” dead or alive for a few days. While I am not sure we’re in the clear yet, this process has seemed generally more benign and faster than the three weeks of treating, watching, shampooing and adding harsher and harsher chemicals into the picture.

(Don’t forget to boil the comb before combing out any other person to prevent cross-contamination)

As per directions, we’ll re-treat with cetaphil at the one week mark, and hope we’re in the clear before we go home, where I pray I won’t be infesting my house with the same issues my relatives face at home.

I wouldn’t wish lice on my worst enemy, but at least now I feel like I have a plan of attack when I come up against one. We’re attacking the louse life cycle, and by thoroughly removing any possible live eggs we can get to, we’re hoping we get enough to make reinfestation unlikely.

Lice is a major pain, and something many people with young kids face. I hope our experience is helpful to you, and that this will help you get rid of these little creatures as quickly as possible. Whatever you do, don’t skip the thorough combings, even though the kids hate it. Put on a movie or TV show they want to see, and be as thorough as you can, combing in every direction, to get them all. It’s a pain but the results are worth it.

by Whitney Hoffman

Photo graciously provided by Gilles San Martin, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved